Overcommitment vs. Desperation

Have you ever spent so much time in an overwhelmingly busy state that the moment you have two seconds to breath you have no desire to do anything?

I mean absolutely anything. Even the things that you usually love to do.

That has been my week.

Last week I was in overdrive trying to get my website just right for this deadline (which turned out not to be a real deadline at all) so I did not write my “weekly” newsletter.

This week, there was no looming deadline, aka an obvious and apparent priority, so I had the luxury of choosing.

Luxury my ass.

Basking in this luxury of choosing what to do, I realized that I could not choose because I had not been very committed to anything at all.

I would always say, “I’m just overcommitted”. Like this badge of honor. Look at me, I do too much! Cue the eye roll.

My overcommitment was actually desperation all dressed up in this navy, slim fit, socially acceptable, good-lookin suit.

Underneath the tailored sportswear, there was just naked desperation.

Desperation to find “my thing” or the thing that’s going to make me an entrepreneur, or just in this eternal state of purposeful bliss.

Why do I need those things? To prove to everyone that I am good enough, worthy of attention/praise/love, and important. So instead of listening to how I really want to spend my time, I was just grasping at things that seemed like a good idea.

This led to under-committing to everything! Nothing was getting my 100%. So I would commit as much energy as I had left (maybe like 25%). And that felt pretty crappy. The things left on my plate all deserve 100% and that is not what they were getting.

How often do we take on yet another thing because it seems like a step in the right direction? That is one of my favorite phrases, by the way, because I really do believe in taking action when you may not know what the finish looks like.

And it’s really easy to take it too far.

It’s easy to say yes yes yes when you are doing things that you love! Yes, I will take another course! Yes I will have dinner with you! Yes I will do the Whole 30! Yes I will take on that extra project at work! Yes I’ll have another beer!

Then when you are actually living your life and you realize there is no space to do work for that course, not a free night in the next 4 weeks to have dinner with your friend, 4 weddings coming up and the Whole 30 doesn’t stand a chance, or you’ve already had 2 beers and a third will put you over the edge.

And now you realize that you can’t do anything to its fullest extent (or really at all). So you feel like poop about it because you like to do everything great!

So what’s a person to do?

Re-evaluate.

Ask yourself:

*Note: this exercise was done strictly with what is overwhelming me in mind; my career and time.  

What do you want your [day, month, year, life] to be about?

Women being and feeling confident in their bodies.

What do you envision doing with your days?

  • Empowering women to feel good about themselves.
  • Educating people on the healthiest ways to eat, move, and think to foster the healthiest body possible.
  • Creating programs for women in situations that really need it, like recovery and addiction.
  • Going into different communities and giving talks on body image, food, confidence, lifestyle.
  • Writing books, blogs, articles. I envision being somewhat remote. But really I thrive in teams. I thrive when I have chunks of time to do work on my own and then come together and collaborate with a team.
  • This whole “online business” deal actually won’t work. I am meant to be on the ground with people. Not to be hiding behind a computer and writing recipes all of the time or just generating content.

What are my current commitments? *In order of time spent:

  1. Pondi (35+ hrs / week)
  2. CC Wellness (15+ hrs/week)
  3. Spread the Health (5+ hrs/week)
  4. Yoga (3+ hrs/week)

 

What would make me really happy to focus on right now? What would bring me joy?

  1. Throwing myself into this Santa Maria project. Fully. Getting U of H fully integrated with Santa Maria Hostel for Health and Wellness Programs.
  2. Writing. I really really enjoy it. I want to keep writing the blog. Getting all of this gunk out.
  3. Developing a women’s group program. Getting women together and talking about what is going on in their brains about their bodies. Helping them be informed, powerful, supported thinkers who create a body and life that they love.

 

How can I create space for what would make me happy to focus on right now?

Pondi:

  • Blog
  • Counter
  • Team Building

CC Wellness

  • Deconstruct Your Cravings Workshop
  • Writing a blog once every 2 weeks
  • Create a women’s group

Spread the Health

  • Integrate U of H with Santa Maria Women’s Hostel
  • Create consistent health and wellness education as a core part of their curriculum

 

This sort of structure can be applied to anything you feel overwhelmed or uninspired by. Maybe you have no interest in going to the gym anymore, doing this whole meal prepping nonsense, or you don’t think you have to be inspired at work because you can get that other places.

Look at your commitments. Look at where you are desperately over-committing and how it’s resulting in under-commitment.

 

What are you uninspired about these days that deep down is really important to you?

Tell me, I would love to hear 🙂

 

 

 

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